Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
