I need help removing her.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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