i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
