craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
