I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
