Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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