i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
