My liver just broke up with me...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
