Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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