dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
