I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
