um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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