i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
