fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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