Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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