im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
