we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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