I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
