dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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