dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
