There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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