butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
