naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
