I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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