i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
