Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
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