you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
