You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
