don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
