Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
