Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
