Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
