She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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