you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
