At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
