sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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