The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All the doctor said was why
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
