She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
time to smoke my breakfast
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
