The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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