2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
