So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
