a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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