Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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