I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
