and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
