chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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