your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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