love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
