i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
did you just send me my own nude
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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