I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Alive.
So much puke
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
