No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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