whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
