We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
