no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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