Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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