Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
