If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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