Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
