Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
