Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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